Wrinkles

Wrinkles

The wrinkles are deeper today. There are a few more of them than there were a month ago.  The bags under the eyes are darker, the lids drooping.  The shower is longer and the water is hotter trying to work out the knots in neck and shoulders.  It was a night of unease and worry.  Dozing for a few moments and startling awake.  Anticipating the enevitable, wondering if it is going to happen tonight.  How will it happen, what will the moment feel like?  

Hourly repositioning, mouth swabs, pain medicines, chapstick, eye drops.  We are trying not to cause more pain in the attempt to ease it. We are hoping  and praying he will have blissful sleep with no pain, no discomfort.  His eyes open and he gazes at the ceiling.  What is he seeing? What is he thinking? He speaks in a whisper or soundlessly mouths a few words but it is hard to understand what he needs so we guess.  Water? Kleenex? Pain? Head higher? Feet higher?  But, most of the time we don't get it right at first and he is patient.  He mouths the words again until we get it right or he falls once more into a restless sleep. 

What is the purpose of this lingering?  Why must it take so painfully, heartbreakingly long?  What will I learn from these wrinkles?

A little ray of sunhine

Today is beauty parlor day.  A girl comes in once a week and cuts, trims, shaves and shampoos all day long.  The pampering and the chance to get your hair done like you used to do before you landed in this situation are priceless.  The ladies are lined up outside the door to the beauty parlor 20 minutes before their appointment time.

We thought we would help out a little with the pampering and so we made flowery hair bows for decorating the new hair-dos.  It was fun to see who was sporting a new  flower hair clip as they rolled up and down the halls.  I heard People talking about the flowers in their rooms as I walked past.  The dining room was full of flower decorated ladies at lunch time.  By bedtime there were still a few flower-do's nodding sleepily in the chairs in the lobby.  I think we made the day different and a little special for these cute ladies.  

Is there a place for dignity in all of this?

How do you keep your dignity when everything you have had is lost?  

The use of your left side is gone, your arm and leg hang limp, your face sags.  You do not know when you have food in your mouth on that left side. You drool and food falls from that left side of your mouth to your clothing. You have lost the feeling of the need to go to the bathroom.  Young aides come to you to check and change your briefs.  You have lost the control of your own body.

How do you keep your sanity when you have lost control of your environment.  You are told you cannot live alone any more because you cannot care for yourself and your basic needs. Someone else makes the choices of where you must live. Someone else makes the choices of what you eat. You have to wait for someone to come and take you to the shower, help you shave, tell you when to brush your teeth.  You want to go to bed but have to wait over an hour for someone to come and help you get ready for and into bed. Your life is run by someone else's time frame. You have no control over the noise coming from the room across the hall that wakes you in the night and restricts you from getting back to sleep.  You cannot take a pain med for your aching tailbone when you need it, you have to wait for someone to bring it to you.

How do you deal with being the "freak show" when your family means well but they are watching your every move to make sure you have what you want or need close to you but also they watch every bite you take, every Kleenex you use, every cough and sniffle to make sure you are not choking or dripping or drooling or slipping.  You feel like you are under a microscope and every breath you take is being measured for signs of life.  Being the center of attention is not fun when you don't want it. 

And what if you no longer can talk, you have no longer have a voice to communicate your needs, or your brain is also affected and you cannot form the words or thoughts you need to communicate what you want or need.  Your name has to be ironed onto all of your clothes so they don't get mixed up with someone else's.  How do you deal with the frustration, anger, helplessness, or hopelessness? This has got to be a lonely, achingly hard existence.   Is there a point to this existence?   What is the purpose of living a life like this?

Yesterday was paint the deck day. It sure looks better now but after 2 quarts of sealant it probably still could use another coat. Here are the before and after pics. Tomorrow Jared and Kaylee start swimming lessons. I get to go watch Jared while Chrissy is in the pool with Kaylee. Sounds fun to me!! Ok the verdict is in .... I bought 10 tomato plants at the same time, same store, and they were all the same size. 9 of them got planted in the Earth Boxes and one got planted in the big garden. The one in the big garden does not look like it has changed much at all. The Earth box tomatoes have tripled in size. I guess Earth Box growing is the way to go ..... see for yourself ...

Hoorrayyyyy! I found one tadpole till swimming in the pond that has not become snake lunch. I am so excited. Now I can watch as he sprouts his little legs and transforms into a frog. I am on a daily snake watch. No more free lunch! The hail was not too bad here, thank goodness. The tiny plants did not fare too well but I think they will come back. The larger plants look like they will be fine. The bean plants have doubled in size in the last couple of days and are looking great! It looks like I will be planting additional oregano and tomato plants soon though, a tomato plant looks pretty bad and the oregano never came up. Tonight is date night and dinner at Red Lobster ..... yum!

Wow, it has been a year since my last post. Hard to believe. Once again it is June but it is the year 2012. It has been a very eventful spring .... first I took down the glass shower doors on the upstairs bathroom. No more doors and what a breeze it is to bath the dogs and clean the tub. I am looking forward to picking out a cute shower curtain to brighten it up in there. I learned how to unwire the hot tub and freecycled it. The pump broke a few years ago and so we drained it for the winter thinking we wold get it going again in the spring but over the winter the pipes had frozen, guess we should have blown out the pipes, so it has sat for way too long not being used. I wish the guy who took it a lot of luck getting it repiped and working. We had the bathtub refinished in May. It looks beautiful now! It was a very smelly process but it was worth it. Then I took down a rickety old metal shed that we inherited when we moved in 30 years ago. What an eyesore it was. I am so glad to have it gone. I also freecycled all the old metal. I dumped out all my old flower pots(about 15 of them) and freecycled once again. Then I began the process of clearing a space for a new raised garden bed. Rich made me one for Mother's day and it got planted with beans, peas and radishes. I also got a smaller raised bed and planted peppers and lots of herbs. I resurrected the Earth Boxes and planted them with tomatoes. Time to clean out the shed and make room for a bunch of stuff being stored in the garage. That took a couple of days, again a lot of trash and a lot of freecycled things. Don't you just love finding old things that have been stored for years? They feel like new treasures all over again but they come with wonderful memories attached. This was a fun job despite all the hard work. Then moving all the reindeer and reindeer making stuff and food storage to the shed to get them out of the garage. Now more cleaning out of the garage and clearing out the left side so the mudjackers could come and raise the floor and landing in the house which had sunken about 8 inches. Mudjacking is fascinating to watch. In goes the cement and up up up goes the floor. When the floor can go no farther you hear the cement pop. They lifted the downstairs bathroom a little too so I have a couple of tiles that they drilled through to replace. Now we can get the old floor on the landing replaced with the beautiful laminate that we had put in the kitchen last summer. I am so excited! Benny came today to measure so he can give me an estimate for the work. The big garden got tilled on Memorial Day and planted with 4 varieties of squash, three varieties of cucumbers, melon, peppers, tomatoes, herbs, lettuce, and an artichoke! Plus we still have the rhubarb growing in there. So every other day is watering and weeding day. I have had a barrage of snakes this year. Today I actually had to reach down into the bottom of the pond and grab a snake out of it. The fish were all swimming crazily trying to stay out of its path and unfortunately all the tadpoles have sadly become lunch for this pond swimming snake. But, that little pest will not be coming back ..... I took care of him.... now I have to catch the one I saw this morning over by the beans ....... Several years ago my dad planted 2 evergreen type bushes in the front of the house. They were not supposed to get more that 2 feet high. This year they reached the 10 - 12 ft tall mark so I chopped them all up and got them ready for the chain saw. We still need to get them out and plant something much smaller. The vines I planted on the side of the house about 15 years ago have grown over all across the front of the house and so they too got chopped away and hopefully corralled for the summer. The front deck will be re-stained this week and the back door will get a little touch up painting. Then I am going to paint the bathrooms. A valve in the back of the refrigerator sprung a leak so I replaced that and then the copper pipe sprung a bigger leak ..... did I say flood in the dining room? Brother..... we had to have a plumber come and install a new pipe for the ice maker water. I sure am glad to have my ice maker working again. The clunk of the ice being dumped and the swish of the tray filling up again is such a welcome noise. Today I cleaned out the dog run and got rid of 2 old falling apart dog houses and trimmed tree branches. Brandon wants to build a kids playhouse in there but I may have to get a chicken coop and a couple of chickens for fresh eggs. Do chickens eat snakes? I found discarded snake skins among the stuff I was cleaning up. Maybe the chickens will keep the snakes away ..... (I should be so lucky :) ) Right now I am listening to big thunderstorm outside and hail pounding the house.... I am worried about what it is doing to my gardens outside. Talk about anxiety!!!! I don't think I will sleep tonight with all the worry over my new little plants. On the bright side, I won't have to weed and water tomorrow ..... In between all of this I made an afghan .... love it, love it, love it ..... and a jokerboard! Any one else want a joker board? I will make you one $23.00 you buy the cards and pegs, $33.00 I buy them. Happy spring!

Springtime Firsts

Today I ate the first strawberries and radishes of the season from my garden. I love this first sampling day every year. It proves that all the hard work of tilling, planting, watering and waiting was worth it. I am also sad that I did not check them yesterday when my grandkids were here so they could also share this joy. Jared has been so excited about the garden this year that he would have been thrilled to find the little red strawberries hiding in the leaves, waiting to be picked and eaten. I doubt I would have been able to get him to try a radish but the strawberries would have been gone in a flash.

I also witnessed a wonder of nature. I have had a little hawk youngster living in my trees, just hanging out. He and I had a stare down one day while he was very close in the branches to the deck where I was sitting. He yelled at me a little and then flew off, still yelling his displeasure at me, sitting in his yard. Today, there was a family of 7 squirrels playing in the trees surrounding the garden. I was enjoying watching them frolic. Suddenly, little hawk was flying through the trees towards the squirrels. LIttle hawk managed to grab a hold of one of the squirrels and attempt to fly away with it, but the squirrel was about the size of the hawk and managed to wiggle it's way free. Little hawk flew to a nearby branch to watch and figure out plan B while the little squirrels nosily scooted away to another playground. I wish I had had a video camera .......

My new Dishcloth Pattern Crochet this way

I thought I would share this pattern with you crocheters. It is my first pattern and I think the dishcloth turned out pretty cool. Enjoy!!

Oh Orange-Sicle

Ingredients:
Size G crochet hook
1 ball color A (orange) Peaches and Creme cotton yarn
1 ball color B (creme) peaches and Creme cotton yarn
Large eye darning needle for weaving in ends

Stitches used/Glossary:
Ch = chain
St = stitch
Sl st= slip stitch
DC = double crochet
Sc = single crochet
Sk = skip
Sp = space
RS = right side
WS = wrong side

Instructions:
Row 1 RS With color A ch 4. Join with a sl st in last chain. Ch 3 (counts as first DC) 11 DC in ring. Join with a sl st in top of first ch 3. (12 st)
Row 2 ch 3 dc in same sp 2 dc in each st around. Join with a sl st in top of first ch 3. (24)
Row 3 ch 3 sk first stitch sc in next st. *Ch 3 sk next st, sc in next st* around. Join with a sl st in the same st as first st of first ch 3. (12 sc and 12 ch 3 spaces)
Row 4 Change to color B. Join with a sc in any ch 3 space. Sc in same ch 3 sp. *Sc in next sc, 2 sc in next ch 3 sp*, all around. Join with a sl st in top of first sc. (36 sc)
Row 5 Ch 3 dc in next 2 sc, 2 dc in next sc, *dc in next 3 sc, 2 dc in next sc* around. Join with a sl st in top of first ch 3. (45 dc)
Row 6 Ch 4 * sk next dc, sc in next dc, ch 3 * around. Join with a sl st in bottom (1st ch) st of first ch 4 (23 sc and 23 ch 3 sp)
Row 7 Change to color A. Join with a sc in any ch 3 sp. Sc again in same ch 3 sp. * Ch 1 2 sc in next ch 3 sp* around. Join with a sl st in first sc. (46 sc 23 ch1 sp)
Row 8 ch 3 dc in next sc sk next sc 3 dc in next ch 1 sp *sk next sc dc in next sc 3 dc in next ch 1 sp* around ending with 2 dc in same space as ch 3. Join with a sl st in top of first ch 3. (92 dc)
Row 9 ch 3 *sk next dc sc in next st ch 3 * around. Join with a sl st in first st (bottom) of first ch 3. Fasten off. Turn cloth to WS (46 sc 46 ch 3 sp)
Row 10 Join color B with a sl st on WS of dish cloth in back loop of any sc directly behind ch 3 loop of previous row. Ch 3 dc in same loop. *Ch 1 2 dc in back loop of next sc* around Join with a sl st in top of first ch 3. Fasten off color B (92 st 46 ch 1 sp)
Row 11 turn to RS. Join color A with a sc in any ch 1 sp. *Sc in next 2 dc sc in next ch 1 sp* around. Join with a sl st in first sc. (137 sc) Fasten off. Weave in ends.

The Great Lizard Hunt Colorado, ....Calgon Take Me Away ...

Did you ever tell someone you would babysit their pet and then accidentally kill it? We started watching a lizard for Brandon on Monday, and Tuesday morning when I went to turn on the lamp, it was dead. BAH What did I do to it? So into the freezer it went. Yesterday, Saturday, I went on the great lizard replacement hunt. Petco, Buckley and Quincy... a not so fun place to shop ..... workers were standing around looking at lizards and frogs but they were not too interested in helping customers. I finally jumped in and said I needed help. 2 workers immediately disappeared and one asked what I needed help with. Out from my purse came my frozen little lizard. "I need one of these only breathing," I said. The worker studied the lizard for a few seconds and told me it was a Bahama Anole. I said OK, I need one. He said, "We don't have them." I said, "OK, do you know who does?" He said he would check. He walked away and I waited for 5 min. When he came back he said that 2 stores had them. One was in Southglenn at Arapahoe (about 15 miles away)and University, the other store was in Englewood at (about 20 miles away) Broadway and Hampden. So I went to Southlands, because I knew the kid really did not check. Of course Southlands did not have any but, they were sure the dead one was a Green anole. Then I decided to check a PetsMart before going all the way to Southglenn, no anoles. So it was off to Southglenn. I drove around Southglenn for 15 minutes, no Petco. I stopped and asked a security guy to show me where the Petco was. IT WAS NOT THERE! Petco is down the road at University and Dry Creek. OK .... off I go. The guy in his store was sure the poor deceased was a Bahama anole and No they did not have those. But, he was more than happy to call a store and find one for me. Oh Boy, there is one just another 10 miles to the west and they will hold it for me. WhooHoo .... off I go. When I got there, the dead lizard had turned into a Green anole again and No, they did not have any of those! All they had left was 1 Bahama anole that did not look like the dead one.

I was done, I bought the stupid lizard and made it home before 9:00pm. Now what am going to do when Little Jared notices that this is not his lizard?

do you know where to find a nice background for this blog?

This blog needs some spiffing up. Any ideas?

The weather around here this summer has been colder and rainier than I remember and the garden is gone. I am so discouraged. Nothing grew as well as in past years and the growing season has been cut way too short. We only got 2" cobs of corn and only 1/3 of the squash that we got last year. The plums and pears fell off the trees before they were ready to be picked. The peppers were all miniature. The pumpkins got to be a good size and then they started rotting. The weather has been a big factor in the slow start and slow growth. The hail in the spring devastated the garden not just once, but 3 times. Then the cool temps and lack of sunshine .....

The Good News:
We harvested 4 heads of cabbage that made wonderful coleslaw. The beans were the very best. They were a great success. The tomatoes grew to a large and juicy size but they are still green and the nights are getting down to the 30's. We have been able to eat a few of them. They are yummy.

Anyone need corn stalks? Come 'n get 'em!

Name that plant .....

Do YOU know what this is?????

More Knit and crochet pictures

I found a pattern for 'green' shopping bags. They are very fun to make. I made 10 of them before I realized I had made that many. Oh, and these darling little apron towels.... Look over it is hanging on the fridge.








I have been home for 2 weeks and working hard. With spring comes all the yard work and preparation for a new garden planting. We have doubled the size of the veggie garden so I have decided that most of my energy this year needs to go into it. There are still a lot of projects that need to be done:

Paint both decks
clean up back yard
clean out grasses in front and plant Cameo Quince
weed and mint control

But I have finished several projects already. I pulled out several vines from the front yard and cut back a rose bush. Sanded and painted a fence, replaced the mailbox, raked, hoed, and planted the garden with peppers, tomatoes, radishes, carrots, beans, pumpkins, regular and lemon cucumbers, strawberries, spaghetti and zucchini squash, cabbage, corn, and an artichoke. I have planted one tomato upside down in a bucket to see for myself how they grow that way. The artichoke is probably in the wrong place because it grows huge and I just planted it on a whim. They get to be 6 feet across and are in the Thistle family. The part that you eat is really a bud. If you let the bud grow it is supposed to become a spectacular flower. I may have to let one flower just to see it. It will also come back every year. So we will have to plan next years garden around the artichoke... : ) so much for not doing your homework before your impulsive plantings.....

Knit a little then crochet a little

I belong to a Yahoo group called Monthly Dishcloths. Each month we participate in 2 dishcloth KAL's (knit-a-longs). The dishcloths have been great this year. These are just a few of them. I have also been crocheting like crazy. This is the best way to keep the mind on something other than all the sadness.

I'm Lost

I've lost my friend, my playmate, my mentor, my inspiration, my hero, my MOTHER. In a time frame of just 7 weeks life turned upside down for our family. Mom started exhibiting stroke symptoms. After several Dr. appointments and tests, brain surgery to remove one tumor and 8 more being found, mom was diagnosed with Gliosarcoma. 3 weeks later she was dead. What happened? How did this happen? How can a healthy, energetic woman of 74 just be gone in a matter of a few weeks? I still feel as if I am in a dream world. I am lost. I want my mother back.


Marilyn Jeppson
July 22, 1934 - March 28, 2009

Looming Like Crazy

I am looming every minute of the day it seems. Here are pictures of what I am working on. I have an assignment to make 2 pair of socks for a lady who is publishing a book on how to make loom knit socks. These socks I am making are going to be in her book! I am so excited to be able to be a part of this book since I love looming and also making socks! They are taking a lot longer to make than I thought they would, it is fingering weight yarn which is very small and so it takes several rows to even measure 1/2 inch. But, I already have people asking me to make them socks. Yes! We are having fun!

Thunder and Lightning

Today during a blizzard like snow storm we had of all things THUNDER AND LIGHTNING! Have you ever experienced that? It was way cool. I have only seen this happen once before, also in Colorado. This little storm lasted about 30 minutes and then went away and just left more cold and a little snow on the ground.

I have been playing taxi again. This time is is for a member of Rich's ward and his non-member mother. They are in a pretty poor situation (no car, no home) so I have been driving them to the Employment center for classes and interviews, and to the Storehouse for food. Tomorrow we will be helping them get an apartment (hopefully) and moving in.

The ward has been so great about donating money and food for a food basket and help with a little Christmas cheer. These are such great kids! They are so willing to help anyone. It is a great Ward!

I got all the packages mailed today so watch for the mailman. There is nothing big in them, but I wanted to send just a little something to remind you that I love you all and we appreciate everything you do for us.

save the dragon...

Please click on the eggs to help keep them alive. They should hatch in 6 days!

Where did November go?

Has it really been over a month since I posted? I have no idea where the time went.
Notice the biggest pumpkins in the picture with the cute little monkey? Well, they are the squmpkins.... they turned orange after they got brought inside. No longer are they mystery fruits : )

Did you have a good Thanksgiving? We got GOBBLED several times this morning. Who cooked dinner today? I found the day to be wonderfully calm and peaceful today due to doing a lot of the cooking yesterday and the day before. Roll dough, pumpkin, pepes, and cornbread for the stuffing were all prepared on Tuesday. The pies were cooked on Wednesday and the cheese ball, bean casserole, and shrimp dip were made on Wednesday as well. So, for today, I got up, got the turkey in the oven, stirred the fruit and cool whip into the pepe salad, rolled out and made the rolls, and mixed up the stuffing. Then, when the turkey came out of the oven, the rolls, stuffing, and beans went in. It was so easy! And yummy!

I really missed the kids, though. It was very quiet and we could have used a little RAGE or Shanghai and some laughs.

The dishwasher has stopped cleaning good and I am really hating having to hand wash or rewash the dishes. We get so spoiled with all the toys and conveniences we have.

Who is shopping tomorrow? NOT ME! No way do I want to go hand to hand with the crowds of rude people around here. I still remember the year the Cabbage Patch doll was ripped out of my arms by a crazed loony. I am going to stay home and eat Pepe salad and work on more socks.

I am looking for inexpensive ideas for neighbor gifts. Also, I need ideas for gifts for the meals on wheels folks that our stake is collecting for. What would be something fun I could donate that would bring a smile to someone?

Gobble Gobble

Dishcloth Clothes

Here's tmy latest creations. the dishcloth clothes are the funniest things I have seen in a long time. I LOVE the little dress. I found the patterns on a web site. It only took about 30 minutes to make the dress. There is a cute little poem that goes along with the pants.

Baby J is sporting his new Cammo socks I made for him this week. Baby socks are fun to make! The next pair of socks pictured is a pair I used a pattern for that turned out HUGE. Ok, I thought, they are made from wool yarn so I can felt them. Well, they felted but they did not shrink. So, off to the sewing machine. I sewed a seam up the front reducing them by about an inch all around and Wha-La.... they fit fine and will be very warm and comfy!

I also made baby J a hat for the cold weather but his melon is huge and would not fit into the hat. So, I am try trying again. I hope the second one will fit. The next size loom up is an adult size. No way is his head that big! Take a look, his melon does not look that big does it?

Right now the temperature is 34 degrees outside. The weatherman says we are getting a snow storm tomorrow. There are still leaves on the trees. I hope it is a light snow so we don't get any broken branches. I really don't like the trees to break.

The squmpkins might be pumpkins after all. They are turning orange now. I think we ate some of the smaller ones thinking they wer squash, but they may have been pumpkins all along. Next year we will plant the garden better and so we actually know what we are growing. LOL!

You haven't seen anything like this.....

http://www.koreus.com/video/chien-danseur.html

You really need to go watch this video.